Bits and Pieces From My Childhood

Listen, my children, and you shall hear of the midnight ride of Paul Revere. Twas the 18th of April in 79, hardly a man is still alive who remembers that famous day and year. One if by land and two if by sea, and I on the opposite shore shall be, ready and waiting to spread the alarm to every Middlesex village and farm...

In fourteen hundred and ninety two Columbus sailed the ocean blue.

I have to live with myself and so
I want to be fit for myself to know
I want to be able as the days go by
To look myself right in the eye...

Make new friends but keep the old
One is silver and the other gold.

Once I was a tadpole grubbing in the mire
Till I became ambitious and started to aspire
I rubbed my tail so vigorously against a sunken log
It disappeared completely and I found myself...a frog!...


Righty tighty lefty loosey.

The Goops they lick their fingers
The Goops they lick their knives
They wipe their mouths on the tablecloths
They lead disgusting lives...

When in the course of human events, it becomes ...

Four score and seven years ago...

The eyes of the Lord are in every place, beholding the evil and the good.

Be sure your sin will find you out.

Be ye kind, one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving each other, even as God, for Christ's sake, has forgiven you.

Every Good Boy Does Fine

A penny saved is more than a penny earned.

Cookie Time

The Cruke

A warm breeze washes over my body as the waves softly lap at the side of the boat. The boat I am on strangely resembles the cruise ship we were on a couple of months ago. I listen to the sales pitch of the ten-year old surfer boy who's missing a leg. He is touting a blow-up killer whale decoy who is also missing a leg. The stump of the plastic whale is shaped like a chicken leg. The surfer boy explains that he lost his leg last summer swimming with the killer whales, but oh, the fun to be had... it was worth it...

(...hoarse crying sounds...)

I open my eyes to the sound of Savannah sobbing, standing next to my bed, her face inches away from my face. She gives a throaty cough. I jerk my head back and glance at the bright red numbers on the clock. 4:26 am. "Calm down, Savannah. Why are you crying?" She gives a couple of heavy breaths then gasps, "I've got the cruke!"


*Cruke = croup. A coupla months ago, Savannah did have the croup. Two nights ago, Autumn had the croup. Savannah woke up last night coughing and worked herself up into a dither thinking she had the croup. She maybe had a slight touch of it, but nothing major. Colds are going around the house. Me and Seth are the only ones not touched by it... (knock on wood).

Old Fogey

This morning as we were eating our breakfast of (what else) frosted mini-wheats, Jacob was reading the milk jug label. "Hunter Farms... is that the name of the farm this milk came from?"
I said, "That would be my guess."
Then ensued a discussion between Jacob, Savannah and Eli about how farmers milk cows - Jacob said, "City farmers use a machine that hook onto the ..."
Savannah interrupts, "the milk thingies!" as she points to her belly.
"Udders, Savannah," I correct.
Jacob continues, "Yeah, they hook on there and it milks the cow. Country farmers milk the cow the old fashioned way."
Eli giggles, "But the fahmahs have to be vewy gentle. Or the cows might kick like on That's So Raven."
Jacob goes for the first hand experience, "Mommy, what does it feel like to milk a cow?"
"I don't know, Jacob, I've never milked a cow before."
Disbelief around the table.
"What do you mean, you've never milked a cow?! I thought you grew up in the old days...you know, like in the 90's. Hey, Eli, back then the cars didn't have any curves like our cars do. Cars back then had all corners. I'll draw you a picture after breakfast so you can know what they looked like."

I hate to admit it, but yes, if the 90's are the old days, I am an old fogey.

Command & Conquer 2

I'm so excited about the deal that‘s coming this weekend at Texas Speedway, and since Elisabeth’s eyes glaze over when I share my stats with her, I have to get this out of my system here... :)

Mark Martin at intermediate tracks
221 - the number of top ten finishes he has
139 - the number of top five finishes he has
18 - the number of wins he has

The last two weeks
6th at Bristol
7th at Martinsville
7 - the number of spots he has gained in the points
27th - where he currently is in the standings
He’s on a roll!

TOTAL wins in his career = 35
plus 48 wins in Nationwide and 7 in the truck series

So all together he has 90 wins!

And now I get to prepare for Texas...

Mark Martin - at Texas
8 - the number of top ten finishes he has
5 - the number of top five finishes he has
1 - the number of wins he has

Plus he has won 5 IROC races, come in 2nd in points 4 times, and has the experience of driving in NASCAR since 1981.

I will definitely be eating cereal to support his sponsor - no fear there. Even if I didn't like frosted mini wheats, I would still do this to support Mark Martin (#5 driving for Kelloggs). Anyway I look at this, he’ll come out the winner!!!

Guest post by Chris

Command & Conquer

I'm so excited about the deal I got this morning at Harris Teeter, and since Chris' eyes glaze over when I recount my exploits to him, I have to get this out of my system here... :)

1st transaction -
8 boxes frosted mini wheats
1 box honeycomb cereal
worcestershire sauce
frank's red hot sauce
mentos gum
airheads candy (6 pk)
cracked wheat italian bread (which I got sliced to make sandwiches with)
rhodes frozen dinner rolls
6 cans pillsbury grands biscuits
1 bag reduced apples
1 bag reduced nectarines
TOTAL I paid = $5.38
plus 3 coupons for free milk and a mail-in form for $10 from Kelloggs

So now I had to go use my free coupons for milk...

2nd transaction -
8 boxes frosted mini wheats
3 gallons organic milk
TOTAL I paid = $6.15
plus 3 more coupons for free milk and a mail-in form for $10 from Kelloggs

Plus I can cut out 5 tokens from my mini wheats boxes and send in for a free DVD.

So all together I paid $11.53 for everything!

We will definitely eat all this cereal - no fear there. Even if we didn't like frosted mini wheats, I would still do this to make the money ($20 back from Kelloggs) and I could donate the cereal. Anyway I look at this, I come out the winner!!!

Center of the Universe

Just in case you didn't know, I am the center of the universe.

Now you're mad at me because you think I'm wrong, but I'm telling you, I am the center of the universe.

Okay, so maybe I'm not really the center of the universe, but I know someone who does think so:

To Autumn, I am the center of the universe. I realized that the other day. It's funny and sweet how her moods change depending on whether I'm paying attention to her, holding her, talking to her, feeding her, or just being in the same room as her. And when I'm not doing any of those things, then she lets me know of her displeasure. Which, in reality, shows that she is the center of the universe. So as far as she's concerned, it's all about her which means it's all about me. Thinking this through is starting to hurt my brain. But it does reinforce my personal opinion and belief that all humans are at the core very selfish beings.

I mean, really, most of what I do or think is based on selfishness. Why do I buy ice cream? Because I want it. Why do I get mad at other drivers? Because they're not driving the way I think they should. Why do I make the kids go to bed early? Because I am tired. Why do I expect certain behavior from others? Because I think I deserve it/that's the way it should be done (according to whom?-me)/I want things to be fair (the way I see it).

And when I don't get my way, I do like Autumn does. I pitch a fit. Figuratively speaking (most of the time). What is pitching a fit? Complaining, whining, ignoring, grumbling, yelling, crying, pounding fists and feet, silent treatment, making so much "noise" that I get my way. Lots of grown-ups do this. It's just hard to admit, or even see. Haven't you ever felt like suing someone because you didn't think you were done right? Well, guess what? Life ain't fair. Ain't no amount of fits gonna make it fair. I'm not the center of the universe. You're not the center of the universe. And it's an awful hard thing to have to tell Autumn, but she's not the center of the universe, either.

God is the real, true, and only center of the universe. Dadgummit, He's the One who created the universe that needed a center. And since He created the universe, I reckon He's the only one big enough to fill the center of it. So really, it's a matter of perception vs. reality. I may feel like and think that I'm the one it's all about. But I'm not. God is. I need to re-align my thinking to the truth. God is the center of the universe. And God wants me to accept Him as the center of my universe. It's up to me whether I accept or not, but that doesn't change the fact that He is. I can choose to be in harmony with Him, or I can choose to "pitch a fit" and fight against Him.

I am so thankful that God is the center of my universe. I hope that one day Autumn will acknowledge the truth of her Creator. And I pray that you, too, have your center calibrated with the true Center of the universe.